Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in fantastikal's LiveJournal:

[ << Previous 20 ]

Saturday, June 17th, 2006
3:07 am	still awake i just got home its 3 in the morning happy sad confused peaceful what the hell do i do??? europe tomorrow happy sad confused everything but peaceful what the hell do i do??? (Comment on this)
Sunday, June 11th, 2006
3:35 am	why does everyone put everything off until the end of the year it seems like so much is happenig now people are cramming their lives into smaller and smaller time frames waiting for something bigger to happen (Comment on this)
Sunday, June 4th, 2006
1:56 pm	prom drama unexpected cannot believe fuck me (Comment on this)
Friday, June 2nd, 2006
11:44 pm	tongight was: a menagerie of girls together at ashleys grandparent house thats big enough to have its own fire dept manicuring, pedicuring, and inevitably gossiping all these girls together (and might i add, quite an acclectic mix) all led up to one thing: gossip. we subtly commented on things throughout the night, but towards the end, i suddenly realized how rediculous girls are and it made me want to never speak again. lets get this out there. i hate gossip. its horrible. it takes way too much energy and just gets people worked up over nothing, but i swear these girls (sans candice, she left early, and ashley, who supprisingly and respectingly really didn;t participate in it all that much) were fueled by gossip. i stayed out of it and wanted to post a sticker on my chest that said vow of silence for lack of intelligent conversation. im a big believer in not talking if you dont have anything worthwhile to say, unless its funny, and it better be fuckin hilarious. i think about half of what everyone says is completely unnecessary and adds nothing to you, those around you, or the collective lives of the citizens of the universe. i think in college that im actually going to take a real core vow of silence, as conference work and write about it. Sarah Lawrence would be so embracing. learning through silence. good stuff. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, May 29th, 2006
2:04 pm	life 17 days till graduation 12 or less days of actual school i dont feel ready for this all to end everything needs to slow down amelie + people + hair removal+ drunk mother = successful night i have so much to do but i cant stay on task i cant focus on work my mind is somewhere else why do i have so many thoughts? it kinda sucks. i want thoughtless pleasure something enjoyable and doesn't involve thinking if found, please report to kristin bohannon (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, May 21st, 2006
10:32 pm	wow so tonigt was a reality check we are seniors we are graduating in less than a month 25 days to be exact i remember sophomore year when my candle was lit at the banquet i thought it was kinda dumb why the hell are we doing this? but tonight, being on the other side of that ceremony it was really touching it really brought all my drama memories back to me and made me so unbelievably sad and mushy-like i remember sophomore year when marken and i did the same monologue at the beging of the year i was so embarassed because she did it so much better than i did i remember being so shy that i didn't talk to anyone for like the first month i remember beating up alex..every day i remember first meeting chelsea and thinking "wow. is this waht all california girls are like? so.... um... blonde and attention demanding?" i remember "where's daddy?" i remember the new york trip: and becoming all of a sudden good friends with chelsea, and courtney yamamoto (OMG, she was a lost soal!!! we forgot her! well, anyway) yelling at me for standing in like for hours for her and buying her take me out tickets, and nick hovesepian sleeping in chelsea and my room.. in my bed. i remember never beign able to talk to any of the seniors... because they were seniors and intimidating and godly i remember long beach festval and doing the ruitine from a chorus line for spirit tickets i remember a jill throwing herself at an alex.... ((lemme me see here.. technically she was FUCKING MRS ROBINSON!! not only did she throw herself at you, she threw herself at you while she was drunk and barely clothed... anyways. yeah. )) okay... sick on memories but im just rediculously sad at the fact that next year we're all going our seperate ways and really wont see eachother that much any more, if even at all. its rediculously depressing (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, May 18th, 2006
10:33 pm	im the son of lage and rove um... (little girl pose with exasperated clueless look oh her face) ... i dont get it..?!?!?! okay, so if some emo kid grows up to be jesus, we're all screwed i liked: o benden getting assaulted by a cheap stage knife o the fact that (from my viewing angle) people grew out of the ground (after they laid down and got back up and such) o tyler's...amazingness o seans emopop radcore facial expressions o cross-dressed costa comedy sportz kid o the fact that the director/coreographer/creator played the second leading man, dressed high school girls up like sluts, and got in make out proximity of mink (i mean, c'mon, every man on this earth wants to fuck him, and since the director has blocking and creation powers, like jesus, he can make it happen... on stage.. yeah) but overall, i must say it was a manifesto of tight pants, eyeliner, and black...and EMO BOYS ...yeah. and im sorry, but after like 8 months of rehearsel, i expecting this show to be FUCKING PERFECT! but some of the dancers were off, technical stuff was messed up (actors frozen on stage, dead silence, then some guy says "okay, black out.. black out now") i dunno, i expected it to be a lot tighet and..well... better and the fact that i had no idea what the fuck was going on just made it all the more better. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 17th, 2006
11:50 pm	we really REALLY need to figure out the limo situation during 5th tomorrow i heard that there are TWO drama limos, one for the seniors and anohter for everyone else thats is absurd just because some people who will remain nameless (cough cough) wants to drink before prom, that shouldn't segregate the drama group. she..or.er... those people should just tape flasks to their thighs if its really that important to them. gee golly! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
11:46 pm	i really have nothing to do with my life anymore since everything is done airplane, check APs, check 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and most of 4th, check all thats left is prom batteagouelrieoleo and graduation, then its off to grad night then to europe then recover for a few days and putter around for a little more than a month i really need something to do (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 16th, 2006
10:59 pm	to do: get violin repaired find prom dress buy prom bid do crap work for sandy vagina frazier pass math finish the bell jar pick up and mail grad announcements determine whether or not i wanna go to catalina for senior ditch day not fuck up airplane is over, and it was pretty good, but can you imagine what it would have been like if we had another week of rehersal before it opened? it would have been FLAWLESS best airplane memiories: o michael sullivan, enough said o franchesca never being there o tyler hiding and picking his nose, then eating what he found up there o amanda and i having to look out of the window to keep from laughing when barry did his awkward rendition of what some people might call a tap dance o maureen obviously not playing the guitar o amanda's convulsions o sean falling asleep every 5 minutes o shavaun being on her period o $100 worth of styrofoam o parading through san pedro with ashely trying to find FUCKING PARTY TIME ICE! o zach and barry swaping bags o the four hollywood executives who never showed o zan alda sitting front row break testing us o never EVER being able to get into the PAC o reading everyones lines o michael breaking the cockpit steering wheel o michael drooling all over himself o the underlaying themes of amanda and my live's : i was pregnant with a child to replace her when her heart surgery fails o MY AWESOME DRESS, i wanted to steal it and wear it to school o the fact that bonnie isn't too fond of tyler, and how that relationship effected their "love" o michael i sticking his head in carolinas crotch o peter pallat crawling through his chair o "....well....we can run the fight scene...." o "alex is in maimi, kristin is in palm springs, sean is...well... somewhere, and we open in a week...:" o every time when barry was drunk, he would say "righnow" with some werid southern elvis voice o "WHO'S FLYING THE PLANE???" ..... and Who the fuck would steal dry ice? (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, May 8th, 2006
11:23 pm	i layed down for 32 seconds and almost didn't get up again what a catostrophe that would be seeing as how i have to "review" for the gov ap do some psych bull shit work and er...sleep (Comment on this)
12:23 am	cant sleep so ill write here. 5 days till Airplane! opens. 38 days till graduation 40 days till europe -150 days till caring about school i watched family guy tonight "i havent seeen anythign that sucked this much since i heart huckabees!!!" i love that movie i think i want to write for music magazines... i almost ran out of gas today while playing chauffer. i owe barry $4. i love simon joyner. amazing stuff. bands for alex. animal collective arcade fire ben folds ben kweller bloc party bright eyes broken social scene clap your hands say yeah cursive daniel johnston (if your feeling adventerous) death cab for cutie (circa The photo alblum or Something about airplanes, Plans is crap) the decemberists deerhoof desaparecidos dinosaur jr. the editors elliot smith the faint fesit the good life iron and wine metric the microphones modest mouse (circa the lonesome crowded west) morrissey (the dude from the smiths) the mountain goats neutral milk hotel the new pornographers nine black alps the pixies pretty girls make graves rilo kiley say anything the shins seu jorge sigur ros simon joyner sorry about dresden spoon the strokes the subways sufjan stevens sunny day real estate tegan and sarah the thrills two gallants the walkmen wolf parade xiu xiu yeah. you might have heard some of those i just went through my ituens library and found stuff you might like experiement with some new stuff and you might just find a new favourite band its weird being on the plane (the whole time) now now im caught somewhere in between production staff and cast this weekend calls for some partying its been far too long high school is almost over we need to do some sterotypical cheesy high school things before its too late ....shall we? (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 26th, 2006
8:28 pm	so about coachella... i had planned to go with maddy and mr. hoeger down to indio for Coachella Arts and Music festival for Sunday only, but tonight on ebay, i stuck gold. two tickets, one for saturday, one for sunday, for only a little more than the price of the original one sunday ticket...and my friend sasha is going both days and spending the night on site and invited me to stay in her tent. alex, if your reading this right now, i am so sorry that i am going to be gone this weekend, but you will have sean and allen. im going to talk to you about it tomorrow anyway, so yeah. im sorry again, but this is something i have wanted to do since freshman year, and im finally doing it. but omg, i am so excited. i will write in this dumb old thing after and give a play by play retelling of all the desert music filled events (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 12th, 2006
11:20 pm	. havent written in this thing for a while and i might just continue that pattern. because writing involves thought and i dont want to think or feel (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, April 8th, 2006
12:27 pm	Lorem Ipsum Lobortis nisl ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat duis. Iusto odio dignissim qui blandit praesent luptatum zzril delenit augue. Facer possim assum typi non habent claritatem insitam est usus legentis in iis! Sed diam nonummy nibh euismod tincidunt, ut laoreet dolore magna aliquam erat volutpat. Mirum est notare quam littera gothica quam nunc putamus parum claram anteposuerit litterarum. Illum dolore eu feugiat, nulla facilisis at vero eros et. Dolore eu feugiat, nulla facilisis at vero eros et accumsan et iusto odio! Qui blandit praesent luptatum zzril delenit augue duis dolore, te feugait nulla facilisi nam liber tempor. Vulputate velit esse, molestie consequat vel illum dignissim cum. Notare quam littera gothica quam nunc putamus parum claram anteposuerit litterarum formas humanitatis. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet consectetuer adipiscing elit. Amet consectetuer adipiscing elit sed diam nonummy nibh euismod tincidunt ut laoreet dolore magna. Augue duis dolore te feugait nulla facilisi nam liber tempor cum soluta nobis. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
12:16 am	f#@! my ipod... long boring entry, you really wont enjoy reading it. its a computer geek heartbreaki so i spilled juice all over my ipod and i thought it was dead oh, but no, it came back to life. good 'ol mac, i knew you had it in you. the screen came back after abel played with it but the click wheel and buttons didn't work and i assumed that it was just on hold or something so i dont mess with it for like two days, hoping it will just dry out and do its thing then i realize that the click wheel and buttons dont work,. hmph. so i think, hey, it still works, just the buttons are messed up. so i hook it up to my new computer ((and the ipod icon pops up on the desktop but not in itunes)) in hope that i will be able to transfer my music from the ipod to my new computer... well.. mac made it so you cant do that.... because then people wouldn't buy music anymore, they could just hook someone elses ipod to their computer and get all their music. so yeah. no... then online i find the program, iLinkPod, that you can download for free that says it can transfer music from an ipod to your computer...! ho, could it be? so i download iLinkPod... and i click on the icon when it pops up on my desktop, and all i get is some weird document in weird korean/computer language. i try it again. same thing. foiled again! so i think, hey, lets use the old computer. it has an older version of itunes and an older operating system...maybe i can accomplish my mischivous task on that computer. so i hook up the ipod to the computer and the ipod screen does the whole "do not disconnect" thing. but...the ipod icon doesn't pop up on the desktop or itunes.... and the ipod screen says " do not disconnect".... there is no way that i can properly eject the ipod without just disconnecting it from the computer... so i think.. well, lets download the new ipod updates from mac.com... half way through the updates my computer decides it doens't want to download the updates... this is why i hate that computer, its old and has a mind of its own.. then i think, ill download the new version of itunes, maybe its more compatible with my ipod or something. so i download the new version and after its almost done it says that i need to restart my computer for the installation to be complete.... my restarting my computer i will in turn be disconnecting the ipod improperly and therefore loose the 1700 songs on my ipod... i check itunes again and my ipod isn't showing up. there is no possible way to disconnect my ipod safely, my computer isn't detecting the software. i have no choice, i restart my computer. after its restarted, i check my desktop and itunes for any sign of the ipod symbol. nothing. i try to download iLinkPod. IT FUCKING WORKS. my ipod wont register on that computer AND THE FUCKING PROGRAM THAT I NEED WORKS. if it only would have downloaded on my other computer i would still have all my songs. but no. no. my ipod is dead now, the memory erased and the click wheel and buttons not working. .... i manually disconnect the ipod. i try hooking it up to my new computer. it registers on the desktop but not itunes. then i click on the ipod and see that there are no songs in the ipod memory. FUCK ME! so yeah. im calling those mac fuckers (they suck because they oversecure everything and dont provide simple services to owners of their expensive products.... its retarded, i pay money for their music on itunes then, with music THAT I OWN, i cant transfer it TO ANOTHER MAC COMPUTER THAT I OWN. then when i do somethign wrong ALL MY MUSIC THAT I BOUGHT FROM MAC GETS FUCKING ERASED!) and telling them to give me a new $300 ipod. i should tell them to give me an itunes gift certificate for $1700 (...well.. no, because i didn't spend that much on itunes music... a lot of stuff i owned from CDs or from friends giving me music, alex laestch gave me 1500 songs, but i only put like 700 on my ipod. and im sure i owned about 500 songs from CDs and whatnot. so i bought like 500 songs from itunes, which come out to like $400 (because when you buy alblums you get lots of songs free. like a 20 song alblum will only cost $9.95.... plus i got a $100 gift certificate; so i have only spent like $300 on itunes music, but the $100 gift certificate isn't going to replace itself. so fuck them, i want a $400 gift certificate. these are just words though, i'll be lucky to get an ipod equal to the value of the one i had.... BUT YEAH. fuck this. im not using itunes anymore. if anyone actually read all of this, tell me and ill give you a cookie. because i would have stopped 1/4 of the way into it. you are devoted to my bitchyness. good for you. i dont care, but i will give you a cookie. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, March 19th, 2006
2:38 am	im tired of all of this school stuff oh school, you i would like to snuff. doing minimal work is getting tough, so i chant in protest, "i have had enough" i cant sleep it feels like ants are crawling all over me so i think the student production should be Top Secret instead of Airplane and we need a drama party w/ a trampoline and rated R comedy sportz. the show is fun. the songs are contagious, the crew is singing when your not watching... "Fuck me Sideways, Mr. Cladwell," spring break is sooon... my offer is still valid, WE WILL TAKE THE MIDWEST BY TUMBLEWEED-STORM! no, im bummed though. i really wanted to do the whole go to new orleans and fix stuff (so mardi gras can survive, c'mon, who really cares about new orleaneans??) but you have to be 18 ... IM ALWAYS TOO YOUNG FOR EVERYTHING mamma always a'said that you should never try to grow up too fast, but ive always, regardless of my current age, wanted to be older. maybe i'll regret that some day, but when that day comes ill be older, (YES!) i dont see why people have babies anymore... adopting kids from oppressed countries not only helps them and makes you happy, but reduces the population crisis and ecological problems. to me it seems like a no brainer: why have to suffer through 9 months of pregnancy and MAKE a baby. its so weird to think of something growing inside of you, something that you are creating. i dont know. i decided a long time ago i was adopting, not because of the whole pregnancy thing, but the other reasons. im pretty sure im an existentialist. im pretty sure i have no idea what im doing for spring break, probably going to WV to visit relatives and such (yay..) its kind of weird. i dont see death as such a terrible thing. its a natural thing that happens to everyone. i mean, if someone is murdered or dies in a car crash, its aweful but when people are old and die of illness or just old age, i see it as "okay, im just not going to see them again," its like the same when someone moves away and you know your probably never going to see them again. i never get sad when old people die, but maybe im just a cold heartless bitch...whatever. ..anyway how bout them dodgers? (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 15th, 2006
1:41 am	i see a river flowing to sickness i see a river tired and diseased. sick is fun. i was at school till 1230 ish tech rehersals are frustrating ever since i was little ive always been a leader...aka bossy i cant just do my own job and not care about other peoples jobs, especially with this particular crew. i have to do my job and make sure the freshman are doing theirs i have to make sure people know what they are doing, because for some odd reason, lots of people dont ask what they need to do if they dont know. im just really tired of having to think for everyone. if common sense and good housekeeping could be practiced, i would be much happier. but yeah. crew de crew crew. i actually like it alot. i have learned soo much and i now appreciate both aspects of the theater more than i thought i could. i dont know why i'm still awake i slept until about 1 today,...er yesterday. which was nice no school for sickie-poos who throw up at 5 am . woot so seth is 22... didn't know that... kinda awkward... i dated a guy who was 21 not too long ago...yeah... awkward... it just always seemed like seth was older...like 25 or 26.. i guess because hes had a stable job at our school since he was 19 or 20. hes more mature for his age. but yeah, i like just found that out today. i figured myself out. im an existentialist. my whole life makes sense now .. well not really, but i think i understand myself a little better. i dont know why im not doing my math homework right now, or why im still writing down senselessness. im so done with school. high school and all the shit that that title entails, im through with it i missed the unveiling of the student production, but later found out that it would be Airplane. Surely, i think thats going to very funny. i really want to get my lip pierced, AND start a fundraiser to go on a roadtrip to OMAHA .... yeah rarrwwrrrr ! ... still up ... 139 am listen to old modest mouse its gooooodd sooo much better than their stupid "Float On' stuff its like western punkpop rock folk yeah. acclectic as hell WOW let go (Comment on this)
Thursday, March 9th, 2006
11:01 pm	seriously. why does noone seem interested in my ohama for spring break idea im sorry, its an amazing idea and its going down down be there or be an ear of corn (Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 8th, 2006
10:23 pm	wow i cant concentrate at all i just wish i could go to sleep and not do stupid bitch homework ever again fuck the police..i mean teachers (2 Comments |Comment on this)